How To See If A Relationship Is Worth Developing

How does one know if a relationship is based on love and is worth developing?

No one has the final word on love, but consider the following points in deciding if you really love someone :

1. Does he/she bring joy to your heart when 
   you think of him/her?

2. Do you want to make him/her happy?

3. Will you love him/her for what he/she is 
   and not try to change him/her? Will you let
   him/her be as he/she is and not what you 
   want him/her to be?

4. Young people tend to fall in love with 
   their ideal of love. This means that one
   has their ideal of a Prince Charming who
   is really a toad. Not all Prince Charmings
   are toads, and not all toads are Prince
   Charmings.

5. DON'T FORGET YOUR SELF WORTH. How does he 
   treat you - like a treasure or someone to 
   be used?

These points should give you a fairly good opportunity to see what kind of relationship you are in.

A relationship without trust won't last. What is the source of this mistrust? Does he look at other women when you are out together in public?
Dreams can prepare you for a relationship that may be coming to an end. They will tell you something is wrong. If your partner is showing less affection toward you, you must decide whether to try to patch up the relationship or let it go.
Think of your dreams as advisers. They may point out problems and offer solutions, but consider all the facts before deciding on any important issue. Especially watch people's daily behavior toward you. Your dreams may suggest what behavior to look out for, but don't break up a relationship without some physical evidence to back up your suspicions. 

No matter what happens with this relationship, try to be a greater channel for divine love. Love will overcome suspicion, which can destroy any relationship. 

Love is blind and probably always will be. The only way to find out anything in life is to go ahead and get the experience. Nothing is ever lost. Each experience can teach us valuable lessons about ourselves, painful though they may be.

~ Spiritual Wisdom on Relationships by Harold 
  Klemp

L.O.V.E

"Love is hard because we make it so. The uncertainty about being loved shapes the way we act towards others. Some of us are rebellious to the things that our families hold dear. Others of us go to another extreme. We love and nurture others to the neglect of our own well-being. Time often gets us back on track, though.

So what can you do to get back on track as soon as possible and be happy?

One cannot buy love through caring for and nurturing others. Those two qualities can be of the real kind if they come from someone who is a magnet for love...you must consciously open your heart to God's love, which is always and forever flowing out to you like a quiet mountain stream.

You probably came into this lifetime with a particular goal. And that goal was to learn the secret of life. 

The secret?

God is love. 

But you probably knew that already. So what's keeping you from truth? It's the realization, not the knowledge. Knowledge is just a mental thing. But it's the realization that you are Soul. That you are worth something. Because God loved you first.

You exist because of God's love. So does your neighbor. And if your neighbor needs help and you can give it, you are also helping yourself.

We're so busy just with the survival of our human self that we sometimes forget to be grateful for the very dear things in our lives - our loved ones, our mates and our children, our parents, and our brothers and sisters.

Soul yearns to return home to God. Home to God means the area of supreme divine love that has no conditions attached to it : unconditional love.

I think it is very important in this life to learn to love someone more than yourself. Whether it's another person or a pet. And before you can love someone else more than yourself, you begin by first loving yourself. Loving yourself doesn't mean to have a high, egotistical regard for yourself or go strutting around like some dictator. It means to have respect for yourself as Soul, as a child of God, because once you recognize yourself as Soul, as one of these beings of God, you've made an important step in your spiritual unfoldment.

Love is the goal, then, of our spiritual search. The way to God is ever within the heart, within the loving heart. "

~ Spiritual Wisdom on Relationships by Harold Klemp

An Artist's Life

‎
"Artists are some of the most driven and courageous people on the face of the earth. They deal with more day to day rejection in one year than most people do in a lifetime. Every day, artists face the financial challenge of living a freelance lifestyle, the disrespect of people who think they should get ‘real’ jobs, and their own fear that they’ll never work again. Every day they have to ignore the possibility that the vision to which they have dedicated their lives is a pipe dream. With every passing year, many of them watch as other people their age; achieve the predictable milestones of normal life - the car, the family, the house, the nest egg. But they stay true to their dream, in spite of the sacrifices. Why? Because artists are willing to give their entire lives to a moment - to that line, that laugh, that gesture, or that interpretation that will stir the audience’s soul. Artists are beings who have tasted life’s nectar in that crystal moment when they poured out their creative spirit and touched another’s heart. In that instant, they were as close to magic, God and perfection as anyone could ever be. And in their own hearts, they know that to dedicate oneself to that moment is worth a thousand lifetimes." - David Ackert

This was tagged to my name on Facebook earlier today, from a dear friend of mine. He visits me regularly at the coffee bar where I work at when I was still working full time there. Yes, great news! ( a little sidetracking here) I am no longer on full time basis at my workplace. I am now working 3 days a week instead of 6 days, because I felt that I couldn't cope with the work load. And it compromised my practice times for myself, which I am quite used to. A little bit rusty now, so it was a wake up call for me to go part time, and not forsake the musician in me. I am, and always will be, foremost, a musician. 

Back to this post.

I love this. This is so apt. So perfectly written and when I think to myself that there is no way I could explain what an artist's life is all about and why do we go through this difficult path for a misunderstood life.

My friend is going through a hard time this year. He feels like giving up most days, but he numbs it with hard work and an extremely active social life. But now he is ill because his body is too tired, and he is unhappy that he has to take a rest. And he asked, "Is it alright if I just didn't care about everything, and coast through these months since December is drawing near?"

I said 'it's okay'. 

He is one of the finest musicians I have ever known and has a great heart of gold. I understand the things that he is going through as I myself too, go through the same motions. You doubt yourself, you judge yourself, you compare yourself to other who seem 'normal' and have a clue about everything in life (education, property investments, healthy savings, retirement plan, a great family....etc....) and then you look at yourself and you feel small.

This post tagged to my name, made my day and made me even more convinced to why I am a freelance musician, a freelance makeup artist and stylist, and a barista in training. I love art. I love the 'kung-fu' learning skills acquired from everything I do, I love who I am.

And to be honest, I find myself happier than most of my peers, because they thought they had everything well thought out in this rat race of this cookie-cutter world.

I have a gig tonight (in two hours time) with another dear friend that I truly dread, but it pays the bills and when compared to other people, this job is fairly easy. A little painful, but if I try to see the silver lining to the gig tonight, I actually get to hone my skill, I get paid for doing so, I get a free meal and I am doing it with a dear friend. So what more can I ask for? Being a freelance musician is the best thing ever.

Thank you God for always watching over me. Just when I think that I am going to fall and break down, You always save me in Your own ways. And for this I am truly grateful. I hope that You will watch over all my dear musician and artistic friends and keep them sane, happy  and full of hope. Bless them with only great things in life and inspire them to keep doing what they love to do best.

I'm backkkkkkkkkk!

Wow.

It has been too long. Way way way too long. My last post was on the 5th of August 2012 and today is September the 23rd. 

49 days.

7 days x 7 weeks.

Anyway. I am backkkkkkkkkkk!

Just a quick recap, in the span of these 49 days, I have recovered from my heartbreak! That is super awesome for me, because I thought that I would never see the light at the end of the tunnel soon enough.

Besides that joyous news, I also dabbled in a few makeup projects and I have yet to upload them pictures ( a bit of Froya aka Michelle Lee, a bit of my first fashion editorial photo shoot for Santorini, a bit of Poova's album cover photo shoot...) and I am also a barista-in-training at the Artisan Coffee Bar, Bangsar Village II, UG Floor. Loads of latte art pics and friends who came by to visit me at my workplace!

And not forgetting the awesomest road trip so far to Singapore with my gal pals, to catch a long awaited concert from one of the coolest and awesomest band in history, Garbage!


And the best thing of all : I am still playing music, still performing with different talented musicians, still practicing to be a better singer and pianist, and getting inspired everyday with song ideas (that I have to quickly jot down or sing onto my iPhone)...and I got to play the bass again and the hand percussions too!

And the best news of all (after all these good news), my skin has improved! I still have breakouts, but not as much as before, and my skin tone has improved. It isn't as red or as angry as before and the peeling is less. I do break out in hives when I am super stressed and get heat rash when the weather is a little mean, but other than that, I am positive that my skin might be able to get back to it's original state. Almost flawless and deactivated =)

So much good news, so much joy! I don't get really much sleep these days (I would be lucky if I could squeeze in 4 or 5 hours) so on my days off, I really savour and treasure the opportunity to sleep in late. And after a short nap after work earlier, I decided to start blogging again.

Welcome back Sharon Chong.

It is good to be back.

K-Palette Makeup Workshop & Ray Girl Search

I love makeup. Nuff said. And oh what joy it is to be invited by the Don Chan to another event that revolves around the very thing I love. 
MAKEUP.

And what is the next best thing to makeup? 
JAPANESE MAKEUP PRODUCTS & TECHNIQUE.

I cannot stress enough on how fantastic Japanese makeup products are. They are affordable and of very good quality (even better than most expensive departmental store favorites). And to bring out the best results from these makeup from the land of the rising sun, you need to acquire the proper makeup techniques. Especially from a professional makeup artist to the stars from Japan, who is also the lead makeup artist for K-Palette's Product Development, Noriko Imura-san.

Somehow there is only 12 out of 20 here. The rest were busy browsing the Sasa products. Temptation IS hard to resist!

On the 27th July 2012, 20 exclusive female bloggers were chosen by Don Chan to attend an exclusive K-Palette makeup workshop conducted by Noriko Imura-san at the Sasa BSC. K-Palette is famous for their '1 Day Tattoo' eyeliner that promises 'no more panda eyes!'. Their product line up consists of incredible eyeliners, eyebrow products and fantastic concealers.

Check out the photos taken from the event and see what you missed out on! (with my humble iPhone, ahem. Don't judge.)

Everyone anticipating & eager to learn from Noriko-san.

The learning process during the makeup workshop was made easier with the help of a Malaysian Japanese language translator.

Noriko-san prepping blogger Yukiko Seta's face with moisturizer, primer & base.

Noriko-san briefing about K-Palette's Zero Kuma Concealer. Each concealer is formulated with different ingredients to care for sensitive eye areas while concealing imperfections such as dark circles, dryness, dullness and poor blood circulation. This is especially recommended for those who have tired skin due to stressful lives, for those who have uneven skin tone and for those who always stay in the office. Noriko-san swears by this miracle product and uses it daily. Could you tell that she is 42 years old?! I couldn't believe her when she revealed her age!

Noriko-san made a diagram of how we can achieve a perfect brow.

The aforementioned eyebrow diagram in a clearer view.

The 3 most popular eyebrow shapes in Japan currently. The one on the top left apparently is for the 'kawaii' look and the one on the top right is for 'dating/clubbing'.

Noriko-san's assistant (whom I didn't manage to get her name but I was totally crushing on her) 

Noriko-san making sure everybody has a good look at the eyebrow pencil and have a go at it.

K-Palette's Star Products : The 1 Day Tattoo Real Lasting Eyeliner and Lasting 2Way Eyebrow.

The K-Palette Real Lasting Eyeliner 24h WP. It is Japan's Top Selling Liquid Eyeliner for 3 years straight! It has an easy-to-draw ultra thin brush, smudge proof, with enhanced blackness and can be removed by lukewarm water. It lasts for 24 hours and is available in Super Black and Deep Brown. RM59.90.

Go for the Super Black to create powerful, impressive eyes. Deep Brown makes your eyes look softer and more natural, and can create a dolly look too.

She sprayed Evian spring water to show us that it is indeed waterproof.

K-Palette's Real Lasting Eyebrow Mascara are available in Camel Brown and Natural Brown. It is an innovative brush that gives your brows a natural look and delivers vivid, intense color in one stroke! It contains eyebrow protecting ingredients such as HYDROLYZED KERATIN, HYDROLYZED COLLAGEN, PANTHENOL & HYDROLYZED SILK. It's strong resistance to water, perspiration and sebum makes it a long lasting product, but it can be removed with lukewarm water. RM42.90.

These are my favorite products from K-Palette. And I was stoked to find them in the goodie bag!

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE. You can create a beautiful eyebrow with this twin headed eyebrow applicator. The color is deep enough to conceal areas of your eyebrows and it's gold pearl allows easy creation of soft looking fluffy eyebrows.    RM59.90.

The glittering powder tightly coats your eyebrow and creates a natural look. If the applicator no longer leaves sufficient powder on the eyebrows, put the cap on, twist the container two to three times and reapply.

Use the liquid pen to draw a beautiful line along to the edge of the eyebrow. This waterproof eyebrow liner is made of just the right amount of translucence in such a way that the color is deep enough to conceal the more sparse areas of your eyebrows. 

K-Palette Real Lasting Eyebrow Pencil 24h.  It is available in Camel Brown, Natural Brown and Grayish Brown. This is especially great for girls with lighter hair color because it lightens the color of your eyebrows to suit the shade of their hair. It is water, perspiration and sebum resistant. After application, just wait for a minute or two without rubbing. This way it clings tightly to the skin and lasts for a really long time.

Check out how thin the brush is for the Real Lasting Eyeliner 24h WP! It helps draw incredibly delicate lines and effectively ensures long hold. It easily draws an ultra thin line along the edge of the eye and also upturned line at the outer corner of the eye.

K-Palette Zero Kuma Concealer in Natural Beige, Yellow Beige and Orange Beige.  It is formulated with moisturizing beauty essence ingredients such as HYDROLYZED HYALURONIC ACID, SOLUBLE COLLAGEN, ROSE WATER, ASCORBYL TETRAISOPALMITATE, CHAMOMILLA RECUTITA FLOWER EXTRACT, HYDROLYZED PRUNUS DOMESTICA, SWERTIA JAPONICA EXTRACT, BETULA ALBA BARK EXTRACT & GLYCINE. This product will be available in our shores very soon, price to be confirmed.

From top to bottom : Natural Beige is recommended for those who have tired skin due to stressful lives as it provides coverage & moisturizing effect all in one. It instantly covers dark circles and maintain skin moisture around the eyes. Yellow Beige is recommended for those who have uneven skin tone. It is easy to blend, brightens up your under eye area and does not leave a cakey look around the eyes. Orange Beige is recommended for those who always stay in the office as it conceals dark circles due to poor circulation. It hides swollen capillaries underneath the eyes. If you cannot decide which concealer is the one for you, always go for the Natural Beige one as it suits everyone.

The goodie bag that I got from the event!

Posing with the rest of the bloggers outside Sasa BSC with Noriko Imura-san at the end of the workshop.

This was me on the 4th August 2012, with my number badge, R15 for the Ray Girl Search tryouts at the Cine Bookstore near Jalan Radin Annum. I had no idea that I would be shortlisted when I submitted my entry online.

Posing outside the Ray Girl Search bunting.

Another fellow contestant who was really friendly with me on the Rapid KL train. I couldn't resist to take a photo together with her. She is a whole lot younger than me.

My whole look was created with the K-Palette 1 Day Tattoo Real Lasting Eyeliner 24h WP in Super Black, the Lasting 2Way Eyebrow in Chocolate Brown and the Zero Kuma Concealer in Natural Beige. All contestants were to go in for the casting with natural makeup and I had this makeup on from morning until night, and nothing smudged or caked. What do you think? Don't you think this look is oh-so-natural and fresh as daisy? K-Palette is fantastic and everyone should try it!

How To Cope & Eventually Heal Over A Heartbreak - in no particularorder.

I am not a drama actress. I took this right after I got closure for myself. And this picture was a reminder.

1. Allow yourself 2 days ONLY to cry & bawl your eyes over  

    it. No more, no less. 

    I did it for a week & it sucked. But crying is helpful, just not 

    too much.

    There was one time I cried non stop for 4 month   

    (involuntarily) and ended up with broken blue-green veins 

    around my eye area. I had to see an eye specialist for my 

    serious eye twitches that compromised my vision during 

    my performances. The doctor recommended either a 

    Valium prescription or Botox injections to my eyelids. 

    I went for neither of those rubbish. 

    I just eliminated the root of the problem. 

2. Spring clean your room.

    I am allergic to dust and pretty OCD about a lot of things, 
    so this works for me.

3. Go out and hang with friends. 
    Don't stay at home alone to mope.

4. Listen to upbeat songs and sing loudly to them. No sappy 
    sad songs because the side effects from listening to sad 
    sappy songs are probably more crying sessions and 
    probable depressing or suicidal thoughts. Not good. 
    I also strongly recommend KARAOKE SESSIONS.
    (Yes. You may choose to sing 'I Will Survive' if you must)

5. Talk to someone immediately about it.
    I called a friend immediately after the breakup and had a 
    nervous breakdown over the phone. But I felt a lot better 
    after all that crying and allowed myself to be vulnerable 
    during that moment. Bless that friend who endured all that 
    and listened patiently with so much empathy & kindness.

6. Not a good deed but it seriously helps : Bitch Fest. 
    Trash out about what made you unhappy in the relationship 
    and allow yourself that one time to be angry and say all 
    that you want to say about the person. Enough bitching 
    and then you move on to better things in life. Because you 
    know that person ain't all that bad. 
    Or maybe not. You decide.

7. No drunk dialing.
    I personally don't do this, ever. But I know of many who 
    does this and end up sending ridiculous emo 
    texts/emails/cry over the phone during the conversation. 
    So if you know that you fall in this category, assign a close 
    friend (or a few if necessary) to be your emergency back 
    up plan when you cannot resist that urge to drunk dial. You 
    will save yourself much unnecessary embarrassment. 
    Have some pride will you?! (slap slap!)

8. Find a new hobby/do something that you have always 
    wanted to do but never had the chance to. Pick up a new 
    instrument/learn a new language/DIY something. 
    In my case, I actually got myself a day job as a barista at a 
    new coffee place near my home, so that I can learn the art 
    of making coffee and get paid for doing it as well. It is not a 
    high paying job but I have always wanted to be a barista 
    ever since forever and what perfect timing this was. I also 
    participated in a model search for a magazine just for kicks 
    and got shortlisted! Wish me luck for that one, if I do get it 
    you will see me on your local newsstands very soon,   
    yeeha!

9. Exercise
    You could join a gym or pick up a new fitness trend. I used 
    to cycle a lot on the stationary bike at the condo I used to 
    live in but nowadays I dance in my room or skip rope 
    outside my house. I strongly recommend Zumba and yoga 
    (I did them and I loved them!) and if you have anger 
    management issues, try Muay Thai.

10. DANCE. Don't be shy. You WILL feel awesome.

11. Don't drink your sorrows away. 
      It never works. For me it doesn't anyway. Drink to 
      celebrate something great or when you are happy with a 
      group of great friends. Alcohol amplifies whatever 
      emotions you are having at the moment and also makes 
      you do stupid things the moment you get tipsy/drunk, so 
      you don't want to do things you regret later the next day. 
      It could get pretty ugly.

12. Watch animations or cartoons on tv and funny stand ups 
      on Youtube (try Eddie Murphy's Delirious and Raw tour. 
      Okay. You can also watch Russell Peters, that will do the 
      trick too.) Funny movies and series (not Korean drama 
      series or Bollywood stuff) are highly recommended. I love 
      Friends and How I Met Your Mother. I also like Little 
      Britain and Whose Line Is It Anyway a lot.

13. Retail therapy. Nuff said. But go easy on it. 
      You don't want to end up living on the streets.

Glen Hew is my hair god. Go to him okay. All my friends & sister do.
Reza Salleh & Darren Ashley got their hair done by him too.

14. Get a new hair cut. 

      Do not chop off ALL of your beautiful hair or shave off   
      everything in anger. Get a nice trim instead or try out a 
      new shade of brown or red. You want to look 
      GORGEOUS, not emo & depressed. And not UGLY.

15. Write a song about it. Form a band with a bunch of friends 
      and write songs together.
      I was hanging out with a bunch of noob friends and we 
      ended up recording a 12 song 'expensive hip hop' album 
      in 3 hours, in the wee hours of the morning. And we also 
      went on to do an open mic stint with much gusto and 
      bluff. Now, that was fun. And inspiring. Makes me want to 
      write some more. The album will be released soon. It is 
      currently being mixed and the album cover is of 'high 
      quality'. RM5 only. I hope the album makes it to 
      Starbucks and Artisan Roast Coffee. I also hope that 
      Moonshine will distribute us somehow. Please support   
      local music.ok.thanks.babai.

Watch out, watch out. These are serious noobs who take music seriously.
And being silly seriously.

16. Go on a fun road trip with friends to watch a happening 
      concert. Last year I went to Labis to pick durians & 
      watched The Cranberries live in Singapore. This year I 
      am going to watch Garbage in Singapore! Ah jyeahhhhh.

17. Call your mum. Or your dad. Your siblings. The rest of the 
      family members.Talk to them about other stuff, catch up 
      on each other and eventually, talk about your recent 
      heartbreak. They say the wisest things (most of the time) 
      and they will comfort you in their own ways. My sisters   
     (both younger than me) gives me amazing advice.

Me and my beautiful mum and sisters. I love them very much.
I just don't say it to their face. It's an Asian thing.

18. MUSIC HEALS.
      Listen to it religiously. Heavy dose of music is highly 
      recommended and greatly beneficial for your soul.

19. Pet an animal. Adopt a kitty or a puppy. Look at cute 
      animal photos from the internet. They will make you feel 
      so much better. And you will smile and have a good laugh 
      from looking at those pictures. Satisfaction guaranteed.

20. Get a new makeup makeover. 
      Ask the makeup artists on duty to give you some tips on 
      how to look fresh as a daisy or update your makeup 
      technique. Don't be intimidated by them. They are     
      probably bored to death standing around waiting for some 
      sales to happen, and might be more than eager to 
      experiment with new looks on you.

21. Bake something. Cook. Both are therapeutic for me and I 
      love seeing how stuff from scratch can turn into 
      something so delicious and pretty.
      I have yet to attempt to make a lasagna. Hmmm.

22. Blog about it. Haha.
      If you must be emo or angry about the experience, may I 
      suggest that you keep the person's name anonymous.   
      Unless that person is a major bad bad bad human being 
      with a black heart and has hurt plenty of people, then I 
      shall give you my green light to even make a banner or 
      billboard advertisement for that.

23. Island or beach getaway. The calm sea, the warm sun, 
      the sandcastle building fun...it helps. A lot. Or go traveling 
      somewhere exotic and fun. Like Capetown or Bangkok or 
      Europe (if you can afford it).

24. Do charity work.Volunteer at a shelter. 
      At the moment I am sorting out stuff to give away. Letting 
      go of old stuff makes room for new things to come into 
      your life.

25. Difficult to do but very good for your speedy heartbreak   
      recovery : Throw out everything from the relationship, be 
      it any form of mementoes like photos, old movie tickets, 
      the cards, the gifts etc. 
      (Deleting his/her friends from your Facebook is a little 
       extreme but highly recommended if you want to start 
       anew and you are the type that cannot handle anything 
       that may remind you of him/her) 
      Don't keep those things. You don't need a reminder of 
      that person. I had a major bonfire during one particular 
      island getaway with 3 of my girlfriends to burn 
      EVERYTHING that I saved from my previous 
      relationships, from the very first one to the current 
      heartbreak ('oh my gawd what were you thinking going  
      out with him?!" "oh man, why do you still keep this?? 
      ewww"). It is not good. Good riddance! You keep hanging 
      on to the past and that doesn't help you move on with life 
      healthily and positively.

26. Have desserts and food parties. 
      I feasted non stop for a week a few days after the break 
      up but it did not compromise my figure too much because 
      I shared all my food with my friends. During every break 
      up I get some form of weird eating disorder and lose 
      massive weight due to the stress, but I ate everything in 
      small portions this time and enjoyed every morsels of new 
      culinary adventures as well as familiar favorites.

With me girls at The Hungry Hog. It was da bomb.

This was the lamest, lousiest hotel food provided to us during a wedding function. But the rose wine was good.

27. Treat yourself like a Queen. (or a King)
      Go to a spa. Get a facial. I personally like mani-pedis and 
      body massages. You will feel fabulous. And it will hurt 
      your pockets, so try to do it sparingly. If you can afford to 
      do it everyday, by all means go ahead!

You can never tell from this pic that I was going through the hardest time of my life in this picture.
But boy, did I feel fabulous & gorgeous. Everything by Topshop.

28. Dress up everyday.
      I know this may seem hard to do because the easiest 
      thing is to just stay in bed, not take a shower and not eat 
      and wear the same ugly thing you wore forever. STOP IT. 
      Go ahead and get dressy. You will feel good when you 
      look good. And the whole process of getting ready is the 
      fun part and it is also like some form of meditation for me. 
      You must fake it till you make it.

29. Meditate.
      This was shared to me by a Thai friend of mine. He is a 
      devout Buddhist and has served as a novice monk. 
      Acknowledge the pain, acknowledge the thoughts of that 
      person that hurt you and the whole relationship 
      experience. Do not run away from the pain or you will end 
      up with emotional baggage (and that ain't sexy). 
     Just allow that thought to linger for 2 seconds, 
     acknowledge it and move on to a happier thought. Like the 
     awesome BKT supper you had last night or the absolutely 
     sinful red velvet cake you had right after the BKT supper    
     (recipe for a stroke or gout).

30. Girls night out. Boys night out.
      Talk with new people. Flirt shamelessly (in a classy way   
      please?) but don't go home with anyone. Make sure you  
      have friends who chaperons you. You don't want to do 
      something you will regret the morning after. 
      Or end up in a rebound relationship. Not good for either 
      party.

31. Some people resort to pain to numb the pain. Like body 
      piercings or tattoos. 
      I write inspiring and motivational notes and stick them all 
      over my room. And I also put up happy photos of me with 
      my friends and family. DO NOT TATTOO HIS/HER 
      NAME. Laser removal treatments are very, very painful 
      and your skin will look kind of yucky afterwards.

32. Hug someone. Hold someone's hand. Especially if that 
      other person is hurting too. You will feel a great lift to your 
      current burden knowing that you made the other person 
      feel better, hurting less inside.

33. No Facebook wars please. 
      Don't announce your break up publicly and make a scene. 
      You will just look stupid and make everyone feel 
      uncomfortable. Do not make people take sides.

34. Get self help books (especially if you cannot afford the 
      services of a shrink). Reading is great for you. It gives 
      you a different (and probably better) perspective in life 
      and you might reassess your life and approach to life 
      differently. You might change for the better. 
      I strongly recommend reading Paulo Coelho's works. 
      And remember, YOU DESERVE BETTER.

35. Do not over analyze the situation.
      It did not work out. It's okay. It isn't you, it's him. It's not 
      her, it's you. It is okay. You will get through this. 
      YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS. 
      I promise you that you will. Because my heart is currently   
      breaking every minute of the day but I remind myself 
      gently that this isn't my first time experiencing this. My 
      eyes go green with envy as I admire cute couples who    
      look so happy and so in love with each other. But I don't 
      get bitter about it. Instead, I get really inspired. I become 
      hopeful. I learn to have more faith that real, good 
      righteous love is out there. Don't go looking for it. It will 
      come to you, when the time is right. And when it does, 
      you will laugh about all your past heartbreaks and be 
      grateful for them. 
      Don't lose the lessons though. Don't punish the next 
      person for what the previous person did, because it isn't 
      fair and not everyone is the same. Don't carry the 
      emotional baggage around. Leave it behind.

Again. Could you tell from this picture that I was hurting like hell inside?
I was having nervous breakdowns on an almost daily basis.

I am in a lot of pain at this time, but I know that I will get better. Time heals everything. It always does. 
So while waiting for the wounds to recover, you have got to love yourself more than ever and live your life to the fullest. Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got. Love yourself.

And if you must get anything tattooed, make it that. Love yourself. Self love. Love self.

Big big hugs to all of you that maybe hurting out there and remember this :

"Love is joy. Don't convince yourself that suffering is part of it."

"Joy is not a sin. Suffering is not a virtue."

" You can be who you want to be right now, no matter what your situation looks like. Happiness is about how you interpret what's in front of you. How willing you are to enjoy simple pleasures, even if things aren't perfect."