How To Cope & Eventually Heal Over A Heartbreak - in no particularorder.

I am not a drama actress. I took this right after I got closure for myself. And this picture was a reminder.

1. Allow yourself 2 days ONLY to cry & bawl your eyes over  

    it. No more, no less. 

    I did it for a week & it sucked. But crying is helpful, just not 

    too much.

    There was one time I cried non stop for 4 month   

    (involuntarily) and ended up with broken blue-green veins 

    around my eye area. I had to see an eye specialist for my 

    serious eye twitches that compromised my vision during 

    my performances. The doctor recommended either a 

    Valium prescription or Botox injections to my eyelids. 

    I went for neither of those rubbish. 

    I just eliminated the root of the problem. 

2. Spring clean your room.

    I am allergic to dust and pretty OCD about a lot of things, 
    so this works for me.

3. Go out and hang with friends. 
    Don't stay at home alone to mope.

4. Listen to upbeat songs and sing loudly to them. No sappy 
    sad songs because the side effects from listening to sad 
    sappy songs are probably more crying sessions and 
    probable depressing or suicidal thoughts. Not good. 
    I also strongly recommend KARAOKE SESSIONS.
    (Yes. You may choose to sing 'I Will Survive' if you must)

5. Talk to someone immediately about it.
    I called a friend immediately after the breakup and had a 
    nervous breakdown over the phone. But I felt a lot better 
    after all that crying and allowed myself to be vulnerable 
    during that moment. Bless that friend who endured all that 
    and listened patiently with so much empathy & kindness.

6. Not a good deed but it seriously helps : Bitch Fest. 
    Trash out about what made you unhappy in the relationship 
    and allow yourself that one time to be angry and say all 
    that you want to say about the person. Enough bitching 
    and then you move on to better things in life. Because you 
    know that person ain't all that bad. 
    Or maybe not. You decide.

7. No drunk dialing.
    I personally don't do this, ever. But I know of many who 
    does this and end up sending ridiculous emo 
    texts/emails/cry over the phone during the conversation. 
    So if you know that you fall in this category, assign a close 
    friend (or a few if necessary) to be your emergency back 
    up plan when you cannot resist that urge to drunk dial. You 
    will save yourself much unnecessary embarrassment. 
    Have some pride will you?! (slap slap!)

8. Find a new hobby/do something that you have always 
    wanted to do but never had the chance to. Pick up a new 
    instrument/learn a new language/DIY something. 
    In my case, I actually got myself a day job as a barista at a 
    new coffee place near my home, so that I can learn the art 
    of making coffee and get paid for doing it as well. It is not a 
    high paying job but I have always wanted to be a barista 
    ever since forever and what perfect timing this was. I also 
    participated in a model search for a magazine just for kicks 
    and got shortlisted! Wish me luck for that one, if I do get it 
    you will see me on your local newsstands very soon,   
    yeeha!

9. Exercise
    You could join a gym or pick up a new fitness trend. I used 
    to cycle a lot on the stationary bike at the condo I used to 
    live in but nowadays I dance in my room or skip rope 
    outside my house. I strongly recommend Zumba and yoga 
    (I did them and I loved them!) and if you have anger 
    management issues, try Muay Thai.

10. DANCE. Don't be shy. You WILL feel awesome.

11. Don't drink your sorrows away. 
      It never works. For me it doesn't anyway. Drink to 
      celebrate something great or when you are happy with a 
      group of great friends. Alcohol amplifies whatever 
      emotions you are having at the moment and also makes 
      you do stupid things the moment you get tipsy/drunk, so 
      you don't want to do things you regret later the next day. 
      It could get pretty ugly.

12. Watch animations or cartoons on tv and funny stand ups 
      on Youtube (try Eddie Murphy's Delirious and Raw tour. 
      Okay. You can also watch Russell Peters, that will do the 
      trick too.) Funny movies and series (not Korean drama 
      series or Bollywood stuff) are highly recommended. I love 
      Friends and How I Met Your Mother. I also like Little 
      Britain and Whose Line Is It Anyway a lot.

13. Retail therapy. Nuff said. But go easy on it. 
      You don't want to end up living on the streets.

Glen Hew is my hair god. Go to him okay. All my friends & sister do.
Reza Salleh & Darren Ashley got their hair done by him too.

14. Get a new hair cut. 

      Do not chop off ALL of your beautiful hair or shave off   
      everything in anger. Get a nice trim instead or try out a 
      new shade of brown or red. You want to look 
      GORGEOUS, not emo & depressed. And not UGLY.

15. Write a song about it. Form a band with a bunch of friends 
      and write songs together.
      I was hanging out with a bunch of noob friends and we 
      ended up recording a 12 song 'expensive hip hop' album 
      in 3 hours, in the wee hours of the morning. And we also 
      went on to do an open mic stint with much gusto and 
      bluff. Now, that was fun. And inspiring. Makes me want to 
      write some more. The album will be released soon. It is 
      currently being mixed and the album cover is of 'high 
      quality'. RM5 only. I hope the album makes it to 
      Starbucks and Artisan Roast Coffee. I also hope that 
      Moonshine will distribute us somehow. Please support   
      local music.ok.thanks.babai.

Watch out, watch out. These are serious noobs who take music seriously.
And being silly seriously.

16. Go on a fun road trip with friends to watch a happening 
      concert. Last year I went to Labis to pick durians & 
      watched The Cranberries live in Singapore. This year I 
      am going to watch Garbage in Singapore! Ah jyeahhhhh.

17. Call your mum. Or your dad. Your siblings. The rest of the 
      family members.Talk to them about other stuff, catch up 
      on each other and eventually, talk about your recent 
      heartbreak. They say the wisest things (most of the time) 
      and they will comfort you in their own ways. My sisters   
     (both younger than me) gives me amazing advice.

Me and my beautiful mum and sisters. I love them very much.
I just don't say it to their face. It's an Asian thing.

18. MUSIC HEALS.
      Listen to it religiously. Heavy dose of music is highly 
      recommended and greatly beneficial for your soul.

19. Pet an animal. Adopt a kitty or a puppy. Look at cute 
      animal photos from the internet. They will make you feel 
      so much better. And you will smile and have a good laugh 
      from looking at those pictures. Satisfaction guaranteed.

20. Get a new makeup makeover. 
      Ask the makeup artists on duty to give you some tips on 
      how to look fresh as a daisy or update your makeup 
      technique. Don't be intimidated by them. They are     
      probably bored to death standing around waiting for some 
      sales to happen, and might be more than eager to 
      experiment with new looks on you.

21. Bake something. Cook. Both are therapeutic for me and I 
      love seeing how stuff from scratch can turn into 
      something so delicious and pretty.
      I have yet to attempt to make a lasagna. Hmmm.

22. Blog about it. Haha.
      If you must be emo or angry about the experience, may I 
      suggest that you keep the person's name anonymous.   
      Unless that person is a major bad bad bad human being 
      with a black heart and has hurt plenty of people, then I 
      shall give you my green light to even make a banner or 
      billboard advertisement for that.

23. Island or beach getaway. The calm sea, the warm sun, 
      the sandcastle building fun...it helps. A lot. Or go traveling 
      somewhere exotic and fun. Like Capetown or Bangkok or 
      Europe (if you can afford it).

24. Do charity work.Volunteer at a shelter. 
      At the moment I am sorting out stuff to give away. Letting 
      go of old stuff makes room for new things to come into 
      your life.

25. Difficult to do but very good for your speedy heartbreak   
      recovery : Throw out everything from the relationship, be 
      it any form of mementoes like photos, old movie tickets, 
      the cards, the gifts etc. 
      (Deleting his/her friends from your Facebook is a little 
       extreme but highly recommended if you want to start 
       anew and you are the type that cannot handle anything 
       that may remind you of him/her) 
      Don't keep those things. You don't need a reminder of 
      that person. I had a major bonfire during one particular 
      island getaway with 3 of my girlfriends to burn 
      EVERYTHING that I saved from my previous 
      relationships, from the very first one to the current 
      heartbreak ('oh my gawd what were you thinking going  
      out with him?!" "oh man, why do you still keep this?? 
      ewww"). It is not good. Good riddance! You keep hanging 
      on to the past and that doesn't help you move on with life 
      healthily and positively.

26. Have desserts and food parties. 
      I feasted non stop for a week a few days after the break 
      up but it did not compromise my figure too much because 
      I shared all my food with my friends. During every break 
      up I get some form of weird eating disorder and lose 
      massive weight due to the stress, but I ate everything in 
      small portions this time and enjoyed every morsels of new 
      culinary adventures as well as familiar favorites.

With me girls at The Hungry Hog. It was da bomb.

This was the lamest, lousiest hotel food provided to us during a wedding function. But the rose wine was good.

27. Treat yourself like a Queen. (or a King)
      Go to a spa. Get a facial. I personally like mani-pedis and 
      body massages. You will feel fabulous. And it will hurt 
      your pockets, so try to do it sparingly. If you can afford to 
      do it everyday, by all means go ahead!

You can never tell from this pic that I was going through the hardest time of my life in this picture.
But boy, did I feel fabulous & gorgeous. Everything by Topshop.

28. Dress up everyday.
      I know this may seem hard to do because the easiest 
      thing is to just stay in bed, not take a shower and not eat 
      and wear the same ugly thing you wore forever. STOP IT. 
      Go ahead and get dressy. You will feel good when you 
      look good. And the whole process of getting ready is the 
      fun part and it is also like some form of meditation for me. 
      You must fake it till you make it.

29. Meditate.
      This was shared to me by a Thai friend of mine. He is a 
      devout Buddhist and has served as a novice monk. 
      Acknowledge the pain, acknowledge the thoughts of that 
      person that hurt you and the whole relationship 
      experience. Do not run away from the pain or you will end 
      up with emotional baggage (and that ain't sexy). 
     Just allow that thought to linger for 2 seconds, 
     acknowledge it and move on to a happier thought. Like the 
     awesome BKT supper you had last night or the absolutely 
     sinful red velvet cake you had right after the BKT supper    
     (recipe for a stroke or gout).

30. Girls night out. Boys night out.
      Talk with new people. Flirt shamelessly (in a classy way   
      please?) but don't go home with anyone. Make sure you  
      have friends who chaperons you. You don't want to do 
      something you will regret the morning after. 
      Or end up in a rebound relationship. Not good for either 
      party.

31. Some people resort to pain to numb the pain. Like body 
      piercings or tattoos. 
      I write inspiring and motivational notes and stick them all 
      over my room. And I also put up happy photos of me with 
      my friends and family. DO NOT TATTOO HIS/HER 
      NAME. Laser removal treatments are very, very painful 
      and your skin will look kind of yucky afterwards.

32. Hug someone. Hold someone's hand. Especially if that 
      other person is hurting too. You will feel a great lift to your 
      current burden knowing that you made the other person 
      feel better, hurting less inside.

33. No Facebook wars please. 
      Don't announce your break up publicly and make a scene. 
      You will just look stupid and make everyone feel 
      uncomfortable. Do not make people take sides.

34. Get self help books (especially if you cannot afford the 
      services of a shrink). Reading is great for you. It gives 
      you a different (and probably better) perspective in life 
      and you might reassess your life and approach to life 
      differently. You might change for the better. 
      I strongly recommend reading Paulo Coelho's works. 
      And remember, YOU DESERVE BETTER.

35. Do not over analyze the situation.
      It did not work out. It's okay. It isn't you, it's him. It's not 
      her, it's you. It is okay. You will get through this. 
      YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS. 
      I promise you that you will. Because my heart is currently   
      breaking every minute of the day but I remind myself 
      gently that this isn't my first time experiencing this. My 
      eyes go green with envy as I admire cute couples who    
      look so happy and so in love with each other. But I don't 
      get bitter about it. Instead, I get really inspired. I become 
      hopeful. I learn to have more faith that real, good 
      righteous love is out there. Don't go looking for it. It will 
      come to you, when the time is right. And when it does, 
      you will laugh about all your past heartbreaks and be 
      grateful for them. 
      Don't lose the lessons though. Don't punish the next 
      person for what the previous person did, because it isn't 
      fair and not everyone is the same. Don't carry the 
      emotional baggage around. Leave it behind.

Again. Could you tell from this picture that I was hurting like hell inside?
I was having nervous breakdowns on an almost daily basis.

I am in a lot of pain at this time, but I know that I will get better. Time heals everything. It always does. 
So while waiting for the wounds to recover, you have got to love yourself more than ever and live your life to the fullest. Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got. Love yourself.

And if you must get anything tattooed, make it that. Love yourself. Self love. Love self.

Big big hugs to all of you that maybe hurting out there and remember this :

"Love is joy. Don't convince yourself that suffering is part of it."

"Joy is not a sin. Suffering is not a virtue."

" You can be who you want to be right now, no matter what your situation looks like. Happiness is about how you interpret what's in front of you. How willing you are to enjoy simple pleasures, even if things aren't perfect."

Wise words of Paulo Coelho. Keep dreaming. Don't kill it. Don't give up. Believe.

The first symptom of the process of killing our dreams is the lack of time. The busiest people I have known in my life always have time enough to do everything. Those who do nothing are always tired and pay no attention to the little amount of work they are required to do. They complain constantly that the day is too short. The truth is, they are afraid to fight the Good Fight.

The second symptom of the death of our dreams lies in our certainties. Because we don’t want to see life as a grand adventure, we begin to think of ourselves as wise and fair and correct in asking so little of life. We look beyond the walls of our day-to-day existence, and we hear the sound of lances breaking, we smell the dust and the sweat, and we see the great defeats and the fire in the eyes of the warriors. But we never see the delight, the immense delight in the hearts of those who are engaged in the battle. For them, neither victory nor defeat is important; what’s important is only that they are fighting the Good Fight.

And, finally, the third symptom of the passing of our dreams is peace. Life becomes a Sunday afternoon; we ask for nothing grand, and we cease to demand anything more than we are willing to give. In that state, we think of ourselves as being mature; we put aside the fantasies of our youth, and we seek personal and professional achievement. We are surprised when people our age say that they still want this or that out of life. But really, deep in our hearts, we know that what has happened is that we have renounced the battle for our dreams – we have refused to fight the Good Fight.

When we renounce our dreams and find peace, we go through a short period of tranquility. But the dead dreams begin to rot within us and to infect our entire being.

We become cruel to those around us, and then we begin to direct this cruelty against ourselves. That’s when illnesses and psychoses arise. What we sought to avoid in combat – disappointment and defeat – come upon us because of our cowardice.

And one day, the dead, spoiled dreams make it difficult to breathe, and we actually seek death. It’s death that frees us from our certainties, from our work, and from that terrible peace of our Sunday afternoons.

1st July 2012

Every year on my birthday, ever since I turned 21, I either celebrated it working on stage or due to some very strange reasons, spring cleaning my room. The best birthday celebration I could remember was when I turned 15, and after much begging (and sulking) I managed to get my parents to throw me a lavish birthday party at the Hyatt Kota Kinabalu. I still smile when I look at the pictures of that birthday party as I felt on top of the world, super Miss Popular and I wore what I thought was the coolest outfit I could think of, which was a pair of baggy blue jeans (not Levi's), black Dr Cardin shoes that looked like boots (I couldn't afford Dr Martens at the time) and a cream colored top that looked like a Chinese samfoo by SEED. I also had slightly longish Aaron Kwok inspired hair. Bluek.

Anyway, this year's birthday taught me one very important lesson : Always be alert and be aware of your surroundings. To walk with care & concentration. Look before you tread. 

Why? 

Because yours truly had walked right into a huge LONGKANG while on a business trip to Sitiawan. The drain was waist deep and I had just WALKED.INTO.IT.WITHOUT.LOOKING.

I was too engrossed by some silly sign of job vacancy when the initial plan was to get me a birthday cake of some sort.

And from this experience it also taught me another very important thing : better be safe than sorry.

I had both ankles & calves X-rayed at the UH and had trouble limping around. When I was in the wheelchair for the 2nd time in my life, I was trying to wheel myself and imagine how it would feel to be physically impaired. I don't mean this as a joke, or trying to be rude or insensitive in any way, but I was trying to see if I could cope and function in a wheelchair. The other patients laughed at me as I was trying to do a wheelie and spun round & round in the wheelchair after discovering how to turn left and right. The first thing I exclaimed to Fabian was "Look! I can drive!" 

I know I know. 

Thank God nothing was broken and all I have are painful scratches and some painful bruises turning purple as we speak. I bandaged both legs to aid my walking as I still limp and I massage analgesic cream every night before I sleep. 

Last but not least, the most important thing I have learnt in my years of living :

GREAT HEALTH IS THE BEST WEALTH.

Take good care of yourselves out there okay? Walk with focus and awareness. 
And don't text & drive.

Le Ann Maxima Fall/Holiday 2012-13 Collection Fashion Preview

Imagine how excited I was when I received an invitation to attend a fashion preview of a homegrown high street fashion brand as a blogger! Boy oh boy oh boy was I thrilled! 20 exclusive female bloggers were invited by Don Chan to this spectacular event and yours truly, Sharon Chong was one of them! 

The event took place on the 28th June 2012 at their flagship store that oozes urban modernism in Jaya One, Petaling Jaya (just above Old Town White Coffee) from 3pm to 6pm. The theme for the fashion event was Le Ann Maxima Fall/Holiday 2012-13, the Ancients and the Exotics, an Urban Interpretation.

This Malaysian homegrown fashion label infuses mythical prints and motifs from ancient Egypt Revival with French Artisan's interpretations of Chinese art and culture. The dominant theme of Cleopatra symbolizes the sensuality, lust, allure, beauty and desirability of an ancient Egyptian icon who surpasses her own time. Chinoiserie refers to a recurring theme in European artistic styles since the 17th century, which reflect Chinese artistic influences characterized by the use of fanciful imagery of an imaginary China, by asymmetry in format and whimsical contrasts of scale, and by the attempts to imitate Chinese porcelain and the use of lacquer-like materials and decorations.

The overriding theme of Urban Luxe is created by infusing the mentioned exotic influences with a tone of urban decadence. Mixing an array of prints and accessories, Le Ann Maxima's Fall Holiday 2012-13 collection blends materials such as striped chiffon, shiny organza, new cotton twill with light weight crepe, printed sequins as well as viscose.

I am a big fan of colors and loud styles, therefore I was truly amazed by the unexpected prints, patterns and vibrant colors to this collection. The colors are accentuated by mixing exotic prints and contrasting/blocking prime colors like emerald green (which I sometimes refer to as 'jade green' due to my parents' personal jade collection that was a deep green color) ivory, red, black, purple (I love purple!), candy pink, cobalt blue (which I also refer to as 'royal blue') and silver/metalic grey. Le Ann Maxima is highlighting on astounding effects of new fabrics, patchworks and energetic colors, which I personally found really exciting and bold.

With the new collections, the brand takes up an ambience of inferred grandeur and luxury with a youthful spirit this coming festive season. The importance of prints and the sense of worldliness and travel has been intrinsic to every collection in the history of Le Ann Maxima.

Le Ann Maxima's Fall Holiday 2012-13 collection will be available in all local and international stores this coming September 2012. For more information, please contact :

+603 9222 7811

Zana Chin : zana@e-maximfashion.com

Ivan Poon : ivanpoon@e-maximfashion.com

or you can visit their websites : www.leannmaxima.com 

                                                        www.facebook.com/leannmaxima

You can also check out the rest of the photos that I shot that day on my Instagram account sharonsy79 (340 shots, but only 70 made it to the list as the rest were a little too blur or too dark. I got myself an iPhone 4s for this shoot but wasn't familiar with the functions of the camera yet at the time of the fashion preview).

The models, the designers & the invited celebrities that attended the preview.

Shorts, skorts, tights, pants.

The stunning dresses.

The white collection.

Green, my favorite color!

My personal favorites.

A variety of styles that is appropriate for every occasion.

The invited bloggers posing with the invited celebrities at the back row. Yours truly is the only orange bag lady with the green necklace.

My first round of finger foods. Loved the sandwiches.

The refreshments after the fashion preview. I was the first one to rush to the table.